Published in Inzicht, August 2012
Half past eight, I am using my broom. The thunderstorm has brought down lots of twigs, leaves and big branches from the row of larches and oaks. A natural way of pruning. After the enormous heat of the past couple of days, the load of water was very pleasurable, the way it came down a bit rough. But that’s how it goes, sometimes.
I’m sitting in the garden, Ghost is lying next to me, watchful but relaxed, my coffee cup right now is as empty as the mind, some people are on their way to here for a session, e-mails have been answered and Kasia just left for the morning to do some graphic design work at a company nearby. There used to be tension when waking up in the morning. A sense of mischief in the air. Something imminent, a warning of impending thunder. Sometimes I can still feel the remnants of that feeling, but I can also hear myself giggling while they evaporate, and spontaneously emptiness will start to shine again, because all is well.
No more looking for a way out, no more fighting with demons, no more anticipating on misery, no more bringing up old stuff, no more rationalizing and no more being other people’s trash can. Freedom is a void. It’s the absence of everything that’s considered normal. In a way it can be called negative. Like the result of a test comes out negative, which will make you happy and relieved – until you have made up something else, hihi.
Be realistic, people say, while living in a dream. Usually it only means you have to make commonly accepted fears your own, and take part in the delusion of constructed safety and security, which nowadays have a dominant influence on this earth. The first mistake made, is to see security and safety as one thing, but the underlying mistake is not to see that real life doesn’t include too many securities, and in the end securities don’t exist at all. Everything is subject to change – except THAT – and so securities are a first-class illusion, just like guarantees.
That’s what a lot of seekers want: guarantees. ‘If I do this or that, will I be enlightened, healthy, famous, rich, attractive, special?’ Few realize that just To Be is enough. An event can make you happy, happiness is what you are. That’s the way it Is. To Be Is. It doesn’t require any effort, just like hearing (unless you’re deaf); it comes naturally.
Just To Be, right now, is openness, silence, fulfillment, completeness. It’s free and effortless. Without a center, without judgement, unprejudiced.
In the spacious garden the fountain is splattering cheerfully. Rain has filled the reservoir. Suddenly I look at it as being a human being. For a time it splatters and flows, and when the reservoir is empty, it’s done for that human being, that specific shape. But really there’s no less water, it has only moved, found another destination, is part of another ‘system’. All is well, even for the person. It may seem personal, for a while, because it (the water) takes a certain shape. But the true thing in the fountain, is not the fountain, nor does it belong to the fountain. It takes its shape, and then moves along. Seemingly disappearing, like the flame disappears – to where? – when you blow out a candle. All is well. Temporary impressions.
Everything is observation, experience, perception, with a seeming start, middle and end. Like this little column. Everything you know, everything you can tell me: nothing but observation and experience. Running water, that’s all. Be like water, loose and liquid, everything comes and goes by itself.
Enjoy the ride.
text Hans Laurentius; translation Jan Joost Schouten